I Told You I Was Sick

What the most embarrassing health issues you can think of? This is my top 10 and, amazingly enough; I’m admitting I suffer from some of them myself.

1.     Anal Seepage

Jeff Foxworthy has this bit about a fake medication called, “Flora Flor” where one of the side effects is supposed to be anal seepage. “That’s not even fun to say”. Believe it or not, this is an actual problem for some people.

Anal seepage basically describes the…how do you say…extra that comes out after you’ve had a bowel movement. You’re done. Your bowels aren’t. This is commonly caused by medication, constipation, and irritable bowel syndrome.

2.     Bowel Incontinence

Bowel incontinence is anal seepage on steroids. When you first read it, it sounds ridiculous enough to laugh at. Amazingly enough 18 million people suffer from common health issue.

Bowel incontinence, also called fecal incontinence, is the inability to control your bowel movements. People with this health concern are often hit with the sudden uncontrollable urge to evacuate their bowels and are unable to control the release.

Bowel incontinence is most commonly caused by emotional issues, chronic laxative use, certain medications, chronic constipation, rectal prolapse, nerve damage, and bowel surgery.

3.     Hemorrhoids

Keeping right in line with the back end of things, all that anal seepage and bowel incontinence is likely to lead to hemorrhoids. Symptoms of this embarrassing health issue include anal swelling or lumps, pain, irritation, and light bleeding.

4.     Butt Itch

Yup, you guessed it. We’re still going with the butt. Not everyone has the above four problems but butt itch (but butt itch?) is more common than you might think. When you’ve got that embarrassing itch you can’t scratch in public, it could be caused by a number of factors.

People with chronic constipation, irritable bowel syndrome, anal seepage, and hemorrhoids are most likely to experience that incredibly uncomfortable tickling sensation in their anus.

Chronic butt itch can also be a symptom of parasitic infection.

Especially if the itch is accompanied by gurgling intestines, diarrhea, chronic sinusitis, multiple food allergies, candida, insomnia, irritability, mood swings, and the tendency to wake up between the hours of 2am and 3am.

Don’t ask why this happens but I had intestinal parasites once and I woke up this same time every night, my stomach roiling and boiling like a battle was underway.

5.     Chronic Nose Itch

Chronic nose itch is one of those incredibly embarrassing health issues because it’s really hard to hide.

You’re sitting there on the couch, minding your own business, trying to write an article, when all of a sudden it feels like a few thousand fire ants have suddenly taken up residence in your left nostril.

Before you’re even aware of what you’re doing, your finger shoots upward like a missile and stuffs itself up that suffering nostril in a frenzied and desperate attempt to quell the horrible itch.

You look up and everyone is staring at you. I worked at as a cashier for a while when I lived down South and I’ll never forget this woman looking at me with what I can only guess was pure disgust when she pointed out I “touched my nose”.

I touch my nose all day long! I wasn’t digging for gold. It itched.

Allergies suck.

6.     Excessive Flatulence

Alright, back to the butt we go. Excessive flatulence is terrible and it always seems to happen when everybody and everything is quiet. It’s terrible. Even if you manage to squeeze your cheeks together long enough to pass it silently, everybody knows when they catch a whiff.

Excessive flatulence is usually caused by low stomach acid, food allergies, irritable bowl syndrome, and chronic candida syndrome.

7.     Crotch Problems

If you have erectile dysfunction, jock itch, chronic yeast infections, vaginal pain, or other “crotch problems”, you have one of the more common embarrassing health issues out there. Honestly, sexual issues and the related are so terribly common. You’re not alone.

In the case of erectile dysfunction and low libido, this is usually caused by a combination of low testosterone and medical conditions such as diabetes or high blood pressure, which affect blood flow to the genitals.

A diet high in soy can also lead to male impotence.

Yeast infections in either gender are usually the result of a diet high in refined sugar and excessive antibiotic use. Women with vaginal pain often experience inflammation, swelling, and discharge they can’t explain.

8.     Bad Breath

Millions of people are living without dental insurance and aren’t quite sure how to properly take care of their teeth at home. If bad breath is an embarrassing health concern for you, try oil pulling.

Take a tablespoon of organic coconut oil and let it melt in your mouth. Swish it around for 5-10 minutes and then spit. Oil pulling helps detoxify your body completely and can help eliminate bad breath.

9.     Skin Problems

Eczema and psoriasis is a common and embarrassing health concern millions of people face. I’ve never had either medical condition myself but I can only imagine how difficult it must be to feel you have to cover up your skin even in 90 degree weather.

For eczema and psoriasis sufferers, I always tell people, “start with your gut”.

Add fermented foods to your diet like organic sauerkraut, kombucha, kimchi, and organic yogurt. These foods are loaded with good bacteria to populate your gut, boost your immune system, improve your digestion, and heal your skin from the inside out.

For severe cases, add a high-potency preservative-free probiotic supplement. Epsom salt baths can also be very soothing and healing for chronic skin problems. Just don’t Epsom salt if you are pregnant, diabetic, or allergic to sulfur.

10.    Runny Armpits

Are you on fire? Cause I am. Excessive sweating from the armpits is a pretty embarrassing health concern I know about all too well. I’m just one of those people whose emotions are connected directly to their pits.

For me it’s a combination of anxiety, anxiety, and more anxiety. Plus, when I do Reiki, I pretty much turn into a faucet too. For others, it could be overactive thyroid, diabetes, obesity, and certain drug interactions.

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